Perfectionism and procrastination often go hand in hand, creating invisible blocks that keep us stuck in survival mode. Coach Ruth Hurt joins Kohila Sivas for a heartfelt conversation on tracing these patterns back to childhood conditioning, family expectations, and the performance-based systems that shaped how we define success. Together they explore how awareness rewires the brain, how breathing can realign the body, and how we can replace “I can’t” with curiosity and choice. Ruth opens up about her personal transformation through the Blocks to Flow™ process, showing that even decades of perfectionism can give way to calm, connection, and confidence when we finally learn to flow with life instead of fighting against it.
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Breaking The Cycle Of Perfectionism And Procrastination With Ruth Hurt
The Art Of Mindful Breathing: A Gateway to Calm
Coach Ruth, welcome to Blocks to Flow. It’s nice to have you here.
Thank you for having me, Kohila. I appreciate it.
I want to start off with something we forget to do, which is to breathe. We are so forgetful of breathing these days. It becomes so automatic that we don’t feel it. I want to start with that. I want you to take a deep breath with your nose, not with your mouth. What’s happening for me and others that I’ve been talking to is that we’re all breathing through our mouths more than our noses. Let’s try that. Release from your nose, too. Not from your mouth. We’ll do that one more time. Did you notice the difference?
My shoulders come down. I feel more relaxed. Not that, “Let’s go, let’s go.” It makes a difference.
Do you notice yourself breathing with your mouth more than your nose, like through your mouth?
I do because I think being so busy, you’re either talking or breathing. That’s just breathing through my nose. I feel my shoulders go down. I don’t know if you could see it, but I could feel that big time.
It’s instant.
I’m going to be using that when I’m in the car.
Let’s do it one more time, the third time.
All right. Ready?
Release it through your nose. Not your mouth. For me, it’s so automatic now. I’m releasing through my mouth, which is not good. We are forgetting to release it through our nose, and that’s important. That’s the one that grounds you so deeply. You’re here with our show. When you hear the phrase Blocks to Flow, when in your life did you feel any blocks?
Looking back, I didn’t have the words for it. In elementary school, I was one of those kids who was afraid. I knew the information, but I didn’t want to raise my hand. That block of not feeling whatever it was, and then I noticed it carried me through middle school, high school, into university, and even into adult life. I never put a word on it that I was blocked, and I wasn’t in flow.
Unpacking Perfectionism: The Hidden Block To Our Potential
You mentioned one of the biggest things is speaking out loud. That started in elementary school. You can’t put your hand up. What do you think is the real block, now that you are an adult? When you look back, what was the actual block? It’s important that we name it.
From what I’ve learned, I believe it was the fear of not having the right answer or not being perfect. I know the answers. I was pretty sure, yet there’s I was a little bit of doubt that it wasn’t going to be the perfect answer. Perfectionism, for me, was the biggest block.
You nailed it. Where did we get that? You were a child at that point in elementary school. How does the child who is born with so much curiosity, so much opportunity to explore, all of a sudden, they enter elementary school, and now they’re afraid of their own voice or their own idea, “What if I get it wrong?”
From my experience, I believe it was from my parents. I was the oldest of four, and my parents are very high achievers. Even though they might not have said, “You have to be perfect,” that was the tone and expectations in the home. It has taken a lot of years to figure that out. “You do this. You do this, and you’ll get good grades, period.” There was no discussion of “I’m struggling” or “I’m nervous.” We didn’t do that. You went ahead, you went to school, you behave, and you’ll get good grades, period.
Generational Echoes: How Family Expectations Shape Our Identity
Yes. Performance. Your self-worth and identity get attached to performance. It’s all of us. How did this all start? Where did your parents learn that? They’ve learned it somewhere, too.
I’m sure from my grandparents. I think it’s generational. I remember my mother saying to me that she was the valedictorian of her high school. She was the valedictorian of her university. Dad was a scientist, and he worked for a big company. You see that as a child. Again, they didn’t ever say you had to be perfect, but it’s generational. In my situation, it’s generational.
How open were they in sharing if they did struggle with something?
You don’t talk about anything. You have feelings? You’re nervous? Just keep pushing through it. That’s just the way it was.
I want to touch on something very important at this point while we’re talking about this. Your grandparents were products of something, your parents were products of something, and then you became the product of being raised in the family. It’s family, society, and cultural expectations. It started with the school system, where we all go to learn, where performance became the identity.
If you don’t perform, it was always the marks that determined who you are or how much you’re worth. When you do well, they praise you. They give you stickers and all of these things. We say, “If I’m not good and I’m struggling, I must be the dumb person. I must not be born with the talents or the smart genes to do well.” There starts the block because I’ve already labeled myself. Without anyone else telling us, we label ourselves.
It’s so interesting. I never realized that that’s what it was.
I did the same thing. When I started struggling in school and muting myself from talking at the elementary level, I told myself, “You’re stupid.” I called myself stupid every day. If I started calling myself stupid, how would the world ever call anything different? The voice I hear most is mine. That’s what lives with me 24/7. Not anyone else’s voice. Others, we can filter. Mine, I can’t filter. It’s here with me 24/7. When we say the system, I always talk about the MC system. It was the mass consumption, mass control, mass standardization. We have this system we followed, but it was knowingly or unknowingly created, where performance is the only thing we’re looking for.
That was the ultimate you?
We started to become our own perfectionists. Perfectionism was part of that and comes along with procrastination. To protect yourself, procrastination has to help you.
I never realized. I was such a procrastinator. Now I understand why.
When was the turning point for you? In your life, when did you notice that you’ve been very silent in your life and that performance is everything? Did you set yourself a high standard when you were in high school?
I always felt short. I always felt less than, because I failed. Failure is okay, or not making that perfect. It was okay. In my mind, even as an adult, it was a failure. To be honest, and this isn’t a plug for Kohila, but it wasn’t until I met her and the program, and I had years of therapy and things like that, which helped, but I never understood why I had a block. We could handle trauma. We could do that stuff. It’s the actual block. Looking back, it was crazy.
It was a year and a half ago or so when I met you. I started listening and reading. I’m like, “Wow.” It gives me goosebumps because that was the piece of my whole life that was never talked about. They didn’t know Blocks to Flow. “What do you mean by block to flow? Just go, just flow, go play.” It’s that understatement. I looked back over my childhood and my grades. I always got good grades, and I never felt good about it. I never felt that I had to cheat because if you have all A’s and one B, it was like, “Why did you get that B?” I would shut down.
If a project came along, my mom always said, “Why are you waiting until the last minute?” I didn’t understand the procrastination piece, that it was protecting me. I would shut down and go to the last minute. I always got it done and got a great grade on it, but I was stressed and nervous. I was a nervous kid. When I met you, that was Blocks to Flow, how our brains work, rewiring, and all of that.
Beyond Nervousness: Redefining Success And Embracing Self-Worth
It’s never too late. We’re always learning. Let’s touch on that for people who are tuning in to us. What was it like on the other side? You’ve mentioned a few things right now. You said you were always nervous. No wonder everybody is nervous these days. Performance and achievement are so highly valued. It’s like a race. It’s like a 24/7 race to get there. When you get there, you realize, “What is next?” We race more to get to the next level, and the next level. It’s like playing a video game. I’m running and running and getting to my next stage. What was it besides nervousness? You said you had never achieved. You never celebrated any wins. You never thought you had wins in life.
No. Because if it wasn’t this win, then it wasn’t a win. That is how I was raised. It was always, as you said, going to the next level. I never looked at what I like to do, what motivates me, or what interests me. It was outside. Success is viewed on the outside. In the real world, success is many things. I think of my grandkids and my kiddos, and I try to break the mold. With my kids, I was like, “Whatever you want to do. University is amazing. You need that for certain things, but if you want to do something else, that’s okay, too. We all need different things in society.”
University is amazing. You need that for certain things, but if you want to do something else, that’s okay, too. We all need different things in society.
I never felt that. I thought you had to be a certain thing, make a certain amount of money, live in a certain house, and that was success. What I learned is that my relationships are my success. You can make money. Money comes and goes. I may not put a point on it, but if you want to make money, money comes and goes. It’s those relationships that you take with you that are important. You’re leaving that legacy. What are the relationships?
The definition of success also shifts. Anxiety is another part of having that expectation. I have to perform. I have to play this game and keep up leveling myself, which is a good motivation to have, but with the right purpose.
That doesn’t motivate me. I learned that what motivates me is helping people, so to speak. Those A’s, to be honest, didn’t work for me. Some people are very high achievers, and that’s their drive. That’s what they need to do. I wanted self-worth and to feel worthy.
We can have both. That’s the problem. The setup was wrong. You can have the A, purpose, and performance. It’s because it’s attached to performance only, minus the purpose. We could inject purpose in between those. A is great. There’s nothing wrong with getting an A. There’s nothing wrong with getting a B, too, and nothing wrong with getting a D.
When we get a D, we’re a failure. It’s not, “What can I learn from this? Where did I go wrong? Where can I look at my alignment? Where am I not aligned? Why am I not getting an A instead of a D?” That is society’s expectation. I think we don’t have the analysis. We don’t go through that. We never talked about our grades. It’s either you get it or you don’t get it. If you don’t get it, you’re not born with those genes to be smart.
I could read. I could write. I could do all those things, and Math. Geometry is a good example. My dad would sit with me for hours with geometry. I felt I was one of those dumb girls who can’t do math. Whatever was clicking, I was blocking with whatever I was telling myself. I sat there and I said, “I can’t do this.” Of course, I could, but something was blocking me. I was telling my brain that I couldn’t. That’s a great example. How often do we do that to our children and ourselves? I can’t do X, Y, or Z. I can’t run a business. I can’t go back to school. I can’t do this. I stopped saying I can’t, but I try. Whether it works or not, that’s okay. At least, I tried. I don’t use that in my brain anymore that I can’t. I hope that makes sense.
Of course. Whatever you tell yourself, you’ve already declared, but if you say “I can’t,” your brain already sees things in that way. It’s going to look for opportunities and all the ways that you can’t.
I’ve learned that through the Blocks to Flow that that’s a block in my flow. I talk to my brain, even as an adult. It shifts. I have more energy, I try it, I look at it. I’m like, “Interesting,” instead of saying no.
If you stand in front of a thick forest and say there’s no path here, there is no path until you move your body and start walking. The more you walk every day, day after day, you will create a path. You will say, “There is a path, there’s a path, there’s a path.” It’s that first momentum, changing that potential by standing and saying, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.” The body and the brain are going to register to forget it and give up. It’s easy for the body to say and the brain to agree with it. We stand and say, “Why am I so stuck?”
I like that forest analogy. If you stand in a forest, you can see. I do some movement. Maybe I have to go this way, but our minds are on that straight line. I always had that straight line I call the blinder. You put the blinders on the horses, and they look straight ahead. You can’t deviate. This is it. I’ve learned that I can do this and it’s okay.
Bridging The Gap: Preparing Students For The Real World
Life is like that. Have you seen the river that goes straight? No. It’s all over the place because it finds its path. Let’s review those points. If you are tuning in to this, it’s anxiety, nervousness, calling yourself names constantly, and comparing yourself to others, constant comparison all the time. It starts very early. That’s why we don’t know when we’re becoming more and more aware by 18, 19, 20. When we’re young adults, we take those to our hearts. We think that’s our identity.
Now, I created a whole identity system which roots heavily for over the years in school. I mastered it. Now, I enter the real world, and I do more comparisons to everyone, and I get anxious because I’m lost in the new world. We don’t prepare our students or our kids for the real world. It’s a real world and the education where they were learning their difference.
It’s night and day.
They just march them. They just throw them. I was like that. How was yours when you came out of high school and were dropped into the real world?
I was not prepared. I literally was dropped off at university. No wonder I didn’t succeed with the way the expectations are set. I didn’t know how to do a checkbook. I had never been on my own. I was not prepared at all. That’s a while ago. I can’t even imagine kids nowadays. I know kids survived. My experience was that I didn’t. I was not prepared. I wasn’t prepared for how to pay my own bills. I wasn’t prepared to work and go to school. I worked and went to school, but you live at home.
I wasn’t prepared for that pressure. I wasn’t prepared for this overwhelming anxiety. Depression hit me, and I couldn’t talk to anybody about it. For college students, that’s critical, their mental health. There are so many kids who go to school. They have anxiety and depression, and they mask it, like I did, because of that expectation. You’re going to succeed no matter what. Inside, you’re like, “I can’t. I can’t put one more foot forward.”
It’s so much pressure, but we could prepare them. If I look back, let’s look back at our high school. We could have had role play after role play in each of these classes. How do you take this math you learn? I’m a math expert. A lot of kids come to me, and they say, “When am I ever going to use this?” The thing is, “You go to university, you need this,” but why don’t we show them where they are going to use it as they’re learning it? As you said, banking is one of the biggest things that we send our kids, our youth, and young adults out into the world.
They don’t know anything about credit cards. They don’t know everything about loans. They don’t know what a loan is, what credit is, or what debt is. None of this is ever taught, or how to buy a house, or how mortgages work, or how anything. We have all these years in the school system where we’re telling them to add the numbers, subtract the numbers, multiply them, figure it out, and do all of this, but why don’t we include the why part? How are you going to use this?
If you ask the why in the system, they’re like, “Just do it.” They don’t want the why, but the kids want to know why. They want to know, “Why do I have to know geometry? Why can’t I just read?” Explain to me that someday I might be in a store situation where I have to do this. That makes sense. I’m just the numbers, like you were saying. Show me. “Okay, exactly.” You are 100%. Absolutely.
Examples of how it would be used in a real-life situation stimulate. If you bring that into the classroom, the students want to learn. They’re not going to be rebellious against math. Right now, there’s a whole generation of people who say, “I hate math. I’m not good at math. I’m never going to be good at math.” Especially math, which is a huge subject for the real world, and it builds confidence. That part is a problem.
We’re not here to blame anybody. It’s the way it is because the curriculum is built in a way that we keep following it. It doesn’t include the why and the how. It’s just the what. It keeps giving them the what, minus the why and the how. The students are left, like, “This is boring. This is useless. I can learn this on YouTube.”
I think our system hasn’t caught up. They’re trying, but in the meantime, kiddos are just falling through this sifter. Some are hanging in. Most of them are like, “Okay.” It’s not the teachers, it’s the system, because the teachers have to teach with the system. The system is still doing the stuff from way back. We have to catch up. Kids are different. They have more pressure on them.
Everybody says, “It was different in my day.” It was. We didn’t have technology. We didn’t have AI. We could go outside and play and regulate. We could do things because we had to. We couldn’t just sit there. The kids are falling through the sifter. That makes it exciting. They’re going to go through that, but they can come out the other end and go, “I’m okay. I’m worthy. I’m a good student. I might not learn this way, but I learned that way. I’m good. I’m okay.” Their identity isn’t wrapped up in these grades.
We have to catch them very early. It happens at home, as you said, for you and for me. It started at home because our home is our first classroom, the first environment where we’re learning, then our society, when we enter into the society, then our school system. These systems, the family structure, the societal structure, and the school structure, are all giving us information. We take that as input, and our little minds create our own meaning. In that meaning, if I feel like I need to perform to be loved, liked, or to be smart, I associate all of those together.
We’re going to say, “You’re not capable.” We’re going to start calling ourselves, “I’m not capable. I can’t do this,” and then start comparing. That’s about it because they have something special that I don’t. “That other person is so smart. I am not.” That’s the storyline, and then we create more to that story. We add to that story, and we create more stories. Chapter by chapter, we’ll add every grade, and then we’ll exit. Now, we have the story. What we do is we reread the stories that we created constantly into adulthood. That’s why we’re creating. We’re developing ourselves. Personal development is so big when you’re an adult because you have to repair yourself and rewire yourself.
It’s to rewire and look back and go, “I’m okay.”
Rewiring The Brain: From Self-Doubt To Inner Alignment
A lot of the personal development programs say these affirmations like “I am, do this, or I’m worthy.” That’s all surface work. You’ve got to figure out where the block is. What language are you using with yourself? You need to analyze what has been said and what you are saying continuously with those. When was your turning point, Ruth, through this process? When did you turn around and say, “It’s me. I’m doing all of this. I’m the one. I’ve created this extreme ‘I need to play at this level’ bar. I set the high bar for myself, and I’ve been struggling to reach this. This is the invisible thing. Who set that up? I did.”
It was one of the modules on the Blocks to Flow, and it was an a-ha moment, where I’m like, “Okay, I named my brain. I call her Rita.” When we have these negative thoughts, I’m like, “All right, Rita.” We’ll talk about it. It was not simple, but easy, or vice versa. In one of the courses that we’re doing and the training, I was like, “Oh my goodness.” I use it now with my grandchildren just to see the difference. It’s very recent.
You’re never too old. It’s never too late to retrain your brain, rewire your brain, or all that self-taught. I was taught to fake it till you make it, but then I felt like an imposter. I’m sorry, but that’s a dumb thing to say. I’m saying that for myself, because now I’m an imposter. Am I learning this stuff? Am I going to be good enough to do this? No. I can’t remember which module. I apologize, but that whole training that we’ve done with Blocks to Flow has been instrumental in my growth and how I can relax.
You’re never too old. It’s never too late to retrain your brain, rewire your brain, or all that self-taught.
I don’t have to be on what I call the hamster wheel. The hamster is going, going, going. I’m like, “Okay. It’s not that keep going and going.” I want to achieve certain things, but it’s not the massive, “I have to get there, I have to get there, I have to get there,” because you’ve taught us or taught me to keep doing it. Trust this process Blocks to Flow. We get there, and it’s like, “Oh.”
It is an egg inside of you.
Your stomach is like, “Oh.” I don’t have that anymore. I always did. It does not matter what it was for, but I always had that little, “Is that good enough? Do I have to do this?” I’m sleeping better. My relationship with my husband is great. We’ve been married for 43 years. The whole shift isn’t that constant, “We need to, we need to, we need to.” It’s that breathing and having that pit in your stomach. Am I where I’m supposed to be, and all that stuff? I’m thinking, “We put that in our kids, too. If I’m feeling that, I can only imagine how kids are feeling that. Blocks to Flow has been instrumental in my personal being and my personal mental health. It’s huge for me.
What you’re explaining there is survival. You were living in that survival mode. I used to live like that, too. Many in the audience here are living like that as well. As you say, we set this high bar, or somebody else said it for us. Sometimes it’s us, sometimes it’s your parents, or sometimes it’s your partner. We set these bars up so high, and then we run on a hamster wheel. The hamster wheel is turning. It’s a circle. It’s spiraling, so the level can’t be reached until you actually jump out and go to the next level. You have to get out of that hamster wheel to touch the bar you set yourself up to.
Right, or you hit the wall. I hit the wall, and I procrastinate. You either get better or you hit a wall. I was tired of hitting that wall.
I look at it like the energy shift in order for us to hit the next level. It’s okay to set up a level. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have some goals for yourself or set them, but they should be associated with your identity. You can’t have your identity over here suffering as “I’m not good,” and set a goal up like somebody else’s goal who is achieving at another level. We compare ourselves, and then my identity is over here, which is this thing to do with this goal.
It’s never going to happen, and then I suffer between the goal and my identity. It’s a big gap between coming here close that to get to it. That’s why we have smart goal setting and all these goal-setting techniques. That’s why at the end of January, we set it up. At least by January, people set up their goals. Before it’s February, you’re already disappointed in yourself because you didn’t do half of the things you said or almost all, you never do them.
“I have never done it yet.” Every January, because that’s what the gurus tell you, “Set your goals.” I think of the gym. That’s a good example because I’m going to the gym and we’ll lose all this weight. Everything is supposed to be so immediate. For me, the Blocks to Flow is a process, and I kept doing it. It’s not that rush, rush, rush. They’re stacked on each other, the different techniques that you gave us. I’m like, “That’s so different and more centering.” I feel more aligned. I don’t feel like my arms are over here. My legs are over here. My head is over here. Everything is coming together because it’s stacked, instead of pushing it through.
The first step to that is awareness, or the awareness of ourselves. Tell me about that stage when you become aware. The first stage is noticing me and what I say.
I have a friend who is a teacher in Seattle. We talked about this, and we were both like, “Oh my gosh.” We have both been in companies together. We’ve done things together. She is one of my BFFs. It’s hard to explain and put into words. That feeling and the difference are such a shift. There’s that a-ha moment. You’re like, “I don’t have to continue to get more customers.” It’s hard to explain the awareness. It’s that centering. It’s that internal. I don’t feel that gut pulling anymore. My heart isn’t pounding.
What you’re explaining is that you detached the performance. You started that, “I have to perform.” There was a time period, “I have to perform, and if I cannot perform at that standard, then I should procrastinate.” That was how you grew up. That’s where all of the cells were trained. All of you neurological paths were trained for that, to set yourself up like that, and then procrastinate. Most of us do, and then we validate that story. Of course, I can’t do it. I’ve never done it before. How can I do it? What was I thinking about setting this up again? Of course, it makes sense.”
Now, you don’t have that. You have the ability to go, “That’s exactly what my block is.” The awareness is huge because you can catch it. You can catch your brain talking to you about it. You can catch it when the cells are feeling it. The feeling is there. You’re seeing it, you’re hearing it. Your sensory system is now tuned in.
I was never aware. At work or here at home, the awareness, I sense it like, “No. Okay.” I can go back into that comparison, or I’m not good enough because maybe that mom made these Bagels better? That awareness of my perfectionism and procrastination is huge. I don’t procrastinate as much anymore. I’m perfect, but I catch it quickly, and I get more stuff done.
None of this stuff is going to go away. I always tell people, you don’t delete it from yourself completely. There’s some awareness of it because it’s like memory. Every cell has a memory of whatever we have done so far. Our generational memories are encoded into our genes. For that reason, you’re not going to get rid of it. The time that is happening, that second voice that tells you that maybe it’s not that perfect, and just wait, you’re like, “Hold on.” It becomes a snap of your finger in that time period. You’re like, “I hear you. I know. Thanks for coming up, but we’re going to go.”
Even getting up to do this or getting up to meet with my students, because I didn’t feel pretty and not perfect, I would hit the alarm. I would then be late, and then I’m rushing around. Now, I get up. I’m looking forward to it. I’m aware that if that happens, and there’s something within me that’s playing old tapes, I know everybody hates those old tapes, I get rid of that, and I keep moving forward. That’s a huge difference because it would be like, “I don’t want to do that.” It’s the fear and the anxiety. I’d be like, “You get up and you do it, and you do your routine.” The awareness has been huge for me personally.
Confronting The Hardest Truths: Unlearning Limiting Beliefs
What was the hardest pattern or belief to unlearn? During this process, when you’re using the blocks to flow, you have to unlearn a lot of things. As the awareness comes, you have to start unlearning it. If you resist that, change can happen. Transformation cannot come into your body or your mind because you keep saying, “No, I’m not good,” unlearning that. You’ve been holding on to your old stuff. What was the hardest one?
The hardest one for me would have been that I didn’t have a certain degree, so to speak. That came from my parents. They are very highly educated intellectuals. That wasn’t my path to take. I always felt like I was an imposter. In my household, education is at the highest level, a PhD with distinction. That’s the goal, but that wasn’t the kid I was.
If I wasn’t at that intellectual level, how could I help other kids, or how could I help my son? That’s the biggest thing. You and your program, the Blocks to Flow so program, helped me with that big time. I have to look at, “Wait, but there are people who have two years or have no years, or are plumbers and hairdressers.” My hairdresser is an amazingly talented woman. She learned how to do that. The same with myself. If there’s something worth learning to help kiddos, absolutely.
You have the training. We’re trained and we take classes, and we’re certified. It’s not just, “Here, become a pastor online.” That’s not a bad thing. I don’t want to insult anybody, but it’s like you take a class, and pay me $50. This is an intense learning journey. That was the hardest thing for me. If it wasn’t for the Blocks to Flow, it’d be that perfectionism, that bar that was set with me when I was little. Now, I am worthy. I’m not an imposter. I love kiddos. I have this now. I understand how the neurons, the brain, and the forest work. I know how that works because you taught us that.
You’ve experienced it.
When you go through this process, the experience is something like a lightning bolt scenario. The clouds are going to open up. Each day, you’re calmer. My anxiety is less. The depression is less. I’m getting up in the morning, and I don’t mind doing my things. I’m looking at my blocks, identifying them, and I’m talking to my brain.
Yes, awareness, and then comes the alignment.
It’s huge. Something has been brought up. I’ll be honest. When you become aware of some of these things, some of them can be painful. That’s okay. It’s okay to go through that pain. It explains to me why I did some of the things I did as a kid, and why some of these things are struggles, so to speak. Some of that is painful, things in school, and whatever happened, a little bit of trauma. We’ve all had trauma at some level. It’s okay because it’s that awareness again. The fact that we’re allowed to sit is okay because then we can keep flowing. Also, then, I understand kiddos. If I thought that as a kid years ago, I can now look at kids that might have some of those same behaviors, the same things that they’re looking at, saying, doing, or their bodies. I’m like, “That’s what that is.” I understand it.
A Younger Self’s Vision: Embracing Imperfection And Finding Your Voice
That’s the true coaching, when you understand at a cellular level and the neurological level. You can understand it and feel it. That’s the morphic resonance that the other person will receive when they enter your field. They’re already at a start, transforming. That alone is a transformation when you invite them into your morphic resonance. If you’re younger self could witness you right now, what do you think they would notice first about you?
I’m not afraid to raise my hand now. That’s the biggest thing. It’s okay not to be perfect. It’s okay not to have maybe the answer you think they want because kids can look at things differently. They can say the same things, but in different ways. It’s okay to raise your hand. You’re okay. You know this. You’re worthy. You don’t have to be perfect. Maybe I would sit in the front of the class and try to sit in the back of the class. It’s okay not to be that perfect individual. You can learn things. You’re not going to know everything. You are not supposed to know everything. That expectation that I need to know everything about the Revolutionary War.
It’s okay not to be that perfect individual. You can learn things. You’re not going to know everything. You are not supposed to know everything.
Why would you know? It’s information. Those are facts. You have to learn it to know, but you could be curious about it.
Some kids want to know whether they are haunted. Kids want to know different things, and that’s how they process. I would tell my younger self that it’s okay. It’s okay to raise your hands.
I love that. That comes from the performance-based schooling system that we knowingly or unknowingly created. From the consciousness of that time, we want the right answers. We want all A’s, and we want people to perform. We didn’t have an environment where questions were invited. If it was invited, they have to be the perfect questions. It’s perfect, according to whom? The person standing in front. The teacher. They have to feel it’s perfect. The rest of the class has to feel it’s perfect. We set up the stage where we’re not able to do that. I never raised my hands either, but I had cool questions. When somebody asked the question I was thinking, and the teacher would say, “That’s an excellent question.” Have you ever had that at all?
Absolutely. I had that question.
I would be brave enough to put up my hand and say it, but I was internalizing it like, “That was my question. I could have got a compliment there.” What came was that I could have got a compliment. See, the attachment is always with the performance. That’s a huge part of every childhood. We get trapped in that, and then we can’t get rid of it. If our audience could take one simple action today to step closer to this awareness and alignment, what would it be? What would you tell them if they could take one simple action?
Reach out to me. No, I’m just kidding. Be aware. Take a look back and think of your schooling, so to speak. You might not have gone to raised your hand, or you raise your hand all the time, or you didn’t think you were good. Look back and realize that it wasn’t you. It was the system that we were put into. Again, I’m not talking to teachers because teachers have to teach to their system. That’s what they get paid for. That system has set us up to doubt ourselves, to make us sometimes feel less than. I don’t think that was the intent, but that’s what is happening because we don’t understand the brain.
Look back at your childhood and be aware of where maybe certain things are happening, comparing, stress, anxiety, depression, perfectionism, and procrastination. Go back and look. That’s the first step. You’re going to be amazed that you can go, “Oh, my word. Okay.” You can start transforming with that little step of being aware.
Ruth, you have now made this your calling. You were called to do this work. It’s not a work that you just take on. You start a business to make money because there are lots of ways to make money. This is your calling. This is my purpose. You’re calling. Your purpose. That’s because you felt it in your cells. That’s because you’ve changed. It helped you change. How can they contact you? Where do we find you?
You can contact me at my email address, which is rasthurt@gmail.com. You can call or text 616-990-8609. I would love to continue the conversation with you. I would love to be aware that this can be transformative for you and your family.
You will be able to see how to connect with Ruth and what she does. Tell me, why has this work become your calling? Why is it a calling for you now?
I’ve always wanted to help kids. I’ve always known the system was broken. I experienced it a little bit, but also because of my children. I had a son who struggled in the system. When this program, Blocks to Flow, came into my life, I was like, “This is what I’ve been looking for. This is it?” If I had this for my son, things could have been different for him, and his story could have been different. We won’t know because I didn’t have it, but I can use it now. I see so many kids who say, “I’m dumb, I’m stupid, I can’t do this.” I’m like, “Absolutely, you can. Let’s talk.” It’s hearing kids. Kids are a passion for me. I see how the system is breaking kids or labeling kids. I want those kids to realize that they’re worthy and not to have those experiences, or at least have someone listen to them that my son didn’t have. It’s very personal for me.
You felt it and how it has helped you to stay in flow. Finish this sentence for me. Flow is.
Flow is transformative for me. Flow is just breathing and transformative.
Also, presence, right?
Yes. It’s I’m here in the now. I’m that river that flows, and it’s amazing. I’m a lazy river. I go slow and listen. That’s my flow.
One word of comparison came in. I was aware of that. You said, “I was a lazy river.” You take your time because you like the scenic route.
See, this is what we do. Those of you who are tuning in to this. This is what we do. We help each other, so that being lazy isn’t old or flow.
You are taking a scenic route. You like to look around. You need to breathe, and you need to look around because that’s how we sense the world. You are taking the scenic route. I love it. You flow. It’s taking the scenic route. I do too. I stopped at every place I could, too.
See how we catch our brains. This is what Kohila has taught us. Blocks to Flow is so important for people to get because this is what we do for each other. She heard something that refrains my brain. It’s an awareness.
Beautiful. Here’s how we’re going to end this session. Tell me one word that describes when you are fully in flow. Tell me one word that describes that you are aligned. One practice that instantly helps you return to alignment.
Breathing.
Yes, it’s so important. I cannot tell you enough, whoever is tuning in here today, breathe through your nose, and breathe out through your nose. I’m thinking because we’re so rushing, we’re doing it through our mouths. I noticed in the last few months myself how many times I have been doing it through my mouth versus my nose, and that reached the center. Breathing is so available to you. The universal God has given it to you. It’s freely available at any time.
Anywhere, anytime. Yeah.
The Universal Invitation: Choosing Flow In Every Aspect Of Life
I love it. One truth you wish everyone knew about learning, living, and leading in flow. What do you think is one truth that everybody should know?
We can all do it. We can all flow. We flow maybe scenically or we flow rapidly, like the rapids. We can all flow when we have that awareness, and we have someone walking alongside us to point things out. That was brilliant. I’m 65 years old, you guys. I can do it. I can get into flow, and anybody can, but I had people walking alongside me.
We can all flow when we have that awareness.
Yes. You need people to walk.
Understand how we flow and how to get rid of the blocks, or how to at least be aware of our blocks, so that they don’t block so we can flow. This is any area of our life, whether it’s a student learning, a parent at home with their children, a teacher, or a baker. It doesn’t matter who you are. The Blocks to Flow is going to help you in all areas of your life. It has been proven.
Absolutely. That’s a choice. What you explained is a choice. A person who has a birthright to flow. That’s why we came to the world to flow, live our lives, and lead. Leading doesn’t mean being a leader. Leading means leading your life. Leading means leading your children’s lives or another person’s life that you’re part of. That leading in flow is possible for us. We give up to our blocks. We become hostages of our own blocks. The minute we are aware and get into alignment and activation, we’re always accelerating. That’s exactly. It’s possible. Awareness is the first step. Thank you, Ruth. Anything else you want to share with us?
I want to say thank you so much, Kohila, for having me. Those of you tuning in, you’re not alone. Your experiences. There are lots of us out there who have some experience, and we can help you. If you want to go from Blocks to Flow, especially with kids. School is starting. Parents, breathe.
Breathe through your nose and out through your nose. It’s another exciting year, because we also have to set up excitement.
I’m excited for the school year to start.
Thank you, Ruth. Thank you for being here, and have a blessed day. Enjoy and stay in flow.
Definitely. You as well.
Thank you.